I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize