I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
