question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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