Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
