Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
