i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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