He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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