there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
