I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
