I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
