I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize