U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
bring money and cleavage
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
