my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
