im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
