Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
