For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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