It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
