Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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