Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I skipped work to stalk him.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
