And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize