dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
