where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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