Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
