glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
