I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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