i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
