if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize