I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I had to cum in my sink.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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