What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
