I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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