Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
