Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
