Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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