I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
