plz talk dirty to me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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