if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize