so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
