so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
