she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
where does the pee come out of this thing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want to make out with him forever
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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