My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
