Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
