Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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