dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
