I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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