dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
