Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
zippers are such a cool invention
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize