So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
