My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize