I'm jealous of your bromance
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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