Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
