capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
