All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
