We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
