hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she peed on how many people?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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