Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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