i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You ruined the universe
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