the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
