I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
