I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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