Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
