I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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