Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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